This article reflects on the personal, epistemological and methodological dilemmas of conducting
(auto)ethnographic fieldwork within the police organisation. The argument is that positionality and
ascribed identities complicate existing dilemmas of using participant observation within the police
context, such as maintaining a researcher’s role, acceptance, building trust and coping with ostracism.
The article also deals with the tension of being a member of the organisation and a researcher
at the same time, as well as the pains, but also the gains, of doing auto-ethnographic fieldwork
within the police organisation as a frequently racialized (male) member of an ethnic minority.